Geekhand … and why you're an idiot if you use it

I’ve recently become ultra bored at work…to say it has been slow is quite the understatement. Last night I spent the last 2 hours just sitting on my ass, waiting for word to go home (which we can’t do until the presses are running). So, I started trolling the Love and Romance forums (on myspace) because that’s always an interesting topic.

What I got while there was not so much an end to my boredom, but a lesson in pure horror.

First off, I don’t know where, why or how the school system went astray, but damn, a lot of these people in their teens and early 20s can’t type a coherent sentence to save their life. I’m not trying to imply it’s simple things like typos, punctuation or screwing up its and it’s, your and you’re, or there, they’re and their — I mean, literally, I couldn’t understand what they were saying, or even trying to say. If this is the byproduct of the “everyone passes in order to preserve their self-esteem” logic, by God, break out the rulers and put Sister Mary Discipline in every school to teach grammar and writing. Yeah, you may have great self-esteem, but by golly, you’re coming across like a complete dumbass. I mean, the one guy spelled abortion “aborshion.” I had no idea of what he was talking about because not only was it spelled horribly, but the sentence it was in didn’t make any sense whatsoever. “My lit L pon E talks 2 me about aborshion while we try 2 eat pop-tartz…”

The other thing that’s really, really grating is the use of what I call “Geekhand.” You know the geekhanders … often teens who like to use U for You, U R or UR for You’re and Your, 2 for to. I mean, I don’t mind abbreviations like BRB or AFK, but man, are you really saving any time by typing l8r for “later”? Any1 is my personal favorite…every time I see it, I want to instantly smack the shit out of the person who types it. Then you get the people who use numbers for letters like g33k. Really, you’re not impressing anyone, except for maybe other spazzes like yourself. This happens all the time in the online video game world — and I’ve had other players get pissed at me because they ask me a question in geekhand, and I reply, “Sorry, learn how to spell out words and I will respond appropriately.” I’m not wasting my time trying to figure out what you are asking. It’s not a foreign language. It’s you being retarded, and I have no patience for it.

Here’s a clue for you geekhand folks — LEARN HOW TO SPELL, AND LEARN HOW TO WRITE A SENTENCE. Yes, it is important. Yes, you will need it later in life. Yes, it can be boring … and yes, it takes time and practice, practice, practice. But don’t you think not coming across as a complete and utter dumbass is worth it?

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