Dating and lazy pirates

This morning I woke up early. Don’t know why, but I was up. Figuring that anything I needed to do involved stores that were closed or making a lot of noise outside, I decided to go a-browsin’ through myspace, seeing if I could run across a couple of cool blogs, people that I know or at least find something to laugh at.

While I didn’t find anything of any particular coolness, what I did discover was a lot of people who quoted that retarded study from a year or so ago about how Pittsburgh is “horrible for singles.” That and a lot of people who use that “Save a horse, ride a cowboy” line and think it’s original.

If I remember that study correctly, they based their findings on stuff like the ratio between clubs and young people, and other completely unscientific data like that.

Now, I’m not part of the Pittsburgh Taliban that thinks you must love the city and its sport teams under punishment of death. I mean, I love it, but I also know it’s not for everyone. But you can’t judge it by by comparing it to New York, LA, DC or Miami either. Populations are vastly different, size is vastly different–in fact, those cities have about as much in common with Pittsburgh as I do with Brad Pitt.

But for people to believe that crap, here’s a news flash: It’s not the city, it’s you.

Now, Lord knows I’m not the dating guru. Over the years, I’ve blown more good dates and dating opportunities than I care to remember. However, I put the responsibility for the failure squarely on myself (ok ok, maybe I blamed Jack Daniels a time or two), not on the city that I was living in.

But the thing is, even with my craptastic schedule and habit of being about smooth as broken glass, getting a date in this town has never been difficult, and trust me, I’m heinously picky about who I date. Really, if you have some brains, a sense of humor, aren’t afraid to talk to strangers and don’t smell like you’ve been shearing sheep all day, you should do fine. Actually, now that I think about it, I’ve met women while reeking of gunpowder, BBQ and spilled domestic beer, so I guess I should rephrase myself–as long as you don’t smell bad to the person you’re hitting on, you should be fine.

After reading a bit more through these people’s profiles, there was one thing that was pretty obvious–these folks had no confidence. They all seemed to be waiting for someone to walk up to them with a sign that says, “Mr. Right” or “Dreamgirl” or something, with an arrow pointing to the sign holder.

Ok, I hate to shatter anyone’s dreams, but this doesn’t happen. Ever.

Like anything in life, you have to get out there and take risks. Yes, you’re going to get shot down, let down and face heartache, and it will, indeed, suck. But that’s dating in general. It has nothing to do with the city you live in. Personally, any time I get shot down, I’m usually the first person laughing, and will ask someone if it was as painful to watch me get shot down as it was to go through, or will go back to my friends and make the anti-aircraft gun motion with my arms while laughing. And believe it or not, that ability to laugh off adversity has earned me second chances that eventually lead to dates.

The other thing I’ve heard is these people say, “It’s hard to meet other professionals in this town,” or something similar. Ok, I call bullshit again. Pittsburgh, as I’ve said in a different blog, doesn’t have the same segregated society that other cities do. For example, professionals don’t gather in certain spots like they do in other cities. Sit down at any bar and start chatting with the folks around you, and you’ll meet people from all walks of life–they could be a millworker, a realtor, a nurse or a robotics engineer. Ok ok, I’m lying…computer geeks never leave their homes, ever. But most people here go out to where they feel comfortable, hence why traditional “professional hot spots” don’t really exist, and why some folks never leave their own neighborhood.

But again, how do these complainers think anything is going to happen if they don’t get off their duff and make any kind of effort whatsoever? Maybe I should start calling these kind of people “lazy pirates” — “I want treasure, but I can’t be bothered to look, let alone dig, for it.”

I don’t know…for me, when it comes to the dating world, it just happens. The only advice I can give is to do the things you love to do. Explore the city with friends, find places that you love and visit them when you can. And if you’re curious about someone, talk to them. Afterall, if you don’t take the initiative for your own life, who will?


2 Responses to “Dating and lazy pirates”

  1. 1 Sean
    November 1, 2008 at 12:35 pm

    I have to throw the bullshit flag on computer geeks never leaving their home, ever. YOU are my evidence. While you are a lot of other things as well, you have a computer geek streak.

    Otherwise, dead on!!

  2. 2 Three
    November 1, 2008 at 1:22 pm

    Actually, I have to say I’m rapidly approaching true computer geekdom. Right now I have 3 computer shells stripped down in the living room — 1 motherboard sitting on a pile of old CDs that have programs that I’m not sure work on XP, and I’m eating Taco Bell. The only way it would be worse is I was writing a blog about World of Warcraft, and how uber my gnome Warlock is. (Well, he wasn’t uber, but he did kick some butt — but there’s no blogs for that.)

    But that whole computer geek thing was really just tongue in cheek. I mean, obviously they have to leave to get Combos and Pepsi, which is when they have an opportunity to talk to the 7-11 counter girl that they’re crushing on, cause this time — this time, they swear — they’re gonna ask her out. If only she’d IM them, then she’d realize how great they are. Maybe they oughta casually drop that “Yeah, I need to fuel up — I’m moderating 15 forums” line again ….


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