Fascist playground

Here’s another story that I came across last night … it made me laugh because this has to be the most fascist playground, ever.

OK, if you don’t click the link, here’s the basic gist: The tiny town of Brackenridge (literally 1 mile x 1 mile, tucked between Tarentum and Natrona/Natrona Heights), opened up a new playground. And they want to keep it nice. So here’s the rules:

Chief among the rules is that children must be accompanied by a “responsible adult.”

That makes sense. Rampant children in a playground are likely to get hurt, so yeah, I can call that fair.

No smoking, alcohol or drugs are permitted in the park.
“It’s definitely going to be a no smoking area. We already had people in there smoking,” Stobert said the day after the park opened.

Oh God no! Not smoking outdoors! Won’t someone think of the children! Oh, wait … they are. (Of course, I wonder if anyone noticed that big giant building that makes steel down by the river, less than a mile away … )

Pets and food also aren’t allowed in the park. The same goes for bikes, Rollerblades, skateboards and scooters.

So, packing a little lunch while letting the kids run amok and bringing Fido is right out. Well, so much for having a little quality family time in a small park that you likely couldn’t bike ride or rollerblade in anyway. And God forbid you should take a little family bike ride down there. You must walk. You must not eat. You must not bring your doggy.

Visitors are asked not to stand on the benches.

Everyone must be orderly at all times. You must be sitting or standing. No running or kneeling. Fun is mandatory. It will be enforced.

Is anyone else having flashbacks to Happy Fun Ball?

3 Responses to “Fascist playground”

  1. 1 Greg
    October 26, 2008 at 12:25 pm

    “She expects police to instruct unattended children to leave and ask them to come back with a parent or other adult.” –

    This is brilliant. Nothing could possibly go wrong…

  2. 2 Three
    October 26, 2008 at 12:32 pm

    Oh yeah … that made me laugh, too. There’s so many problems with the logic behind their thinking that it is somewhat painful.

  3. October 27, 2008 at 3:16 pm

    You know I see those stories where someone builds a playground for the community out of spare change and lots of volunteer work – and I think, “Gee I’d like to give back and do something like that too.”

    But having to deal with dipshits like that. I think I’ll pass.

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