Idiocracy is here

I don’t know how many of you have seen the movie “Idiocracy” — but I swear, I see more and more signs of it becoming true on a daily basis.

(for those of you who have never seen it, here’s a trailer)

For example, I recently got an advertisement from Pricepoint.com — a site that sells mountain biking gear. You know the drill — “Crazy blow-outs! 80-percent off! End of season sale!” Yadda yadda yadda.

Well, I am in need of new MTB shoes. After about 5 years of use, my old MTB shoes have seen better days. And they squish my toes, so I’ve never been all too fond of them. But, being the cheap bastard that I am, I decided to hold out on getting a new pair — for a shoe that you can’t exactly wear out in public (without tearing up someone’s floor), I just don’t feel the urge to plunk down $70+ for them. Plus they’re almost always all Euro sizing, which is — aggravating — and can make online ordering an adventure. Besides, the pair I had before my current ones, well, I had them until the sole actually tore away from the rest of the shoe as I was trying to unclip. (Imagine my surprise when my foot was sideways on the pedal, but I was still clipped in and promptly fell over. Luckily, there were no witnesses for that greatest of moments.)

So, I figure, up to 80 percent off could bring a decent MTB shoe — or rather, a shoe that I could use to ride my cyclocross bike (set up for road riding) down to the fruit and vege market without leaving a trail of dirt and grit throughout the store.

I find one that could work. Simple, basic, and hey, $20. That’s in my price range.

And then I read the Q&A underneath. I don’t know if this is similar to FAQs, but I sincerely hope to God that it isn’t.

If I order qty 1 of the Sette Rival II Shoes do I get 1 or 2 shoes?

You will get 1 pair (2 shoes) of the Sette Rival II Shoes if you order qty 1.

… *trying to talk, but can’t* …

… *baffled, pained look on face* …

… *brain failing to process* …


I’m sorry, but if you need to ask that question, you need to stay off the Interwebz. You really ought to consider giving up mountain biking (like Rocky — too many headshots), or at least wear a damn helmet if you do. And for the love of God, never attempt to drive a car!

And for Pricepoint, is it even necessary to throw that out there? Wait wait wait, don’t answer. I don’t think I want to know.

Here’s an idea: Let’s stop talking down to idiots. Let’s set the bar a little higher and make them aspire to join the “average” level. You know, the level that understands that if you’re going to order shoes and gloves, that you will get 2 of them. And if they don’t get it or can’t grasp the concept, hey man, that’s Darwinism — welcome to it.

And no, Darwinism has nothing to do with that guy on “Bewitched” reruns, either.

I’m going to go cry now.


2 Responses to “Idiocracy is here”

  1. November 19, 2008 at 12:54 pm

    Cummon – we are talking about a site that sells athletic equipment, you should just be glad everything wasn’t monosyllabic.

    Click to add to shop cart!

  2. 2 Three
    November 19, 2008 at 5:30 pm

    Well, actually, mountain bikers tend not to be stupid. Crazy, a little eccentric, sure, but stupid … not so much.

    Of course, another shoe I looked at had a very graphic description of “You will receive two (2) shoes — one (1) left and one (1) right.”

    And do I really want to click on that cart? Really?

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