The holidays, and what needs to be said

So the holidays are rapidly approaching, and like everyone else, I’m sure you’re busy with Thanksgiving plans, followed by the inevitable, “Wait, there’s how many days until Christmas?! Crap!” feeling. The rush for the holidays is something that’s always interesting — because some people go into a manic frenzy in an attempt to have the “perfect” holidays. Then there are the others who kick back, relax and smile throughout them, and get the idea of what’s behind them and understand that it’s a time of celebration and being thankful. And yet there are others that use them to express their political correctness.

Out of all of them, group 3 pisses me off the most.

Now, I know you know these chuckleheads. These are the people who say, “Happy Holidays!” instead of “Merry Christmas!” because they don’t want to “offend” anyone who isn’t Christian. They are also the folks who get quoted in the media as saying “We don’t celebrate Thanksgiving because of the pilgrims. We like to think of the contributions of the Native Americans.”

If you are one of these people, here’s my 3-word reply: Get. Over. It.

First of all, I’m not now, or ever, saying “Happy Holidays” or any variation of it because I am concerned that you will be offended, just like I’m not offended if you wish me a “Happy Hanukah” or “Happy Kwannza” or any other similar saying. Why? Because I know you’re wishing me peace, joy and happiness. Heck, I may even use it as an opportunity to learn more about your beliefs by asking a little bit about it or looking it up. How hard is it to get the intent of a holiday greeting? I mean, it’s pretty obvious that saying “Merry Christmas” doesn’t mean “I wish a pox upon you and your family, you freakin’ heathen.” So, if you get a “Merry Christmas” from me, accept the “blessing” (as such) for what it is — and realize that if I was trying to insult you, I’d say something like, “Hey assclown, nice hat. HA HA HA.”

The Thankgiving bashers, on the other hand, seem to be a relatively new group that I’ve been hearing about. Being a distinctly American holiday, these folks seem to have found politically correctness as a way to bash their good fortune for being an American. Typically they are white, educated, left-wing and guilty. They quote what happened to the Native Americans after turkey day (over hundreds of years) as a justification for not joining in the celebration now. And here’s my advice for these folks: Shut. The. Fuck. Up.

Seriously, if being an American is so bad, please trade your spot to someone else. There are thousands of African refuges wouldn’t mind your home, wouldn’t mind trying some turkey and stuffing, wouldn’t mind laying down on the couch afterward, watching football and dozing off after such a feast. Yes, I understand the history of the Native Americans, and how they were treated by white settlers and (later on) by the U.S. government. I’m not saying to be proud of that. I’m saying rejoice in that one singular day when two groups came together, broke bread and celebrated their good fortune of having a roof over their heads, enough food to share, and good neighbors to share it with. THAT is what Thanksgiving is all about.

So stop PCing up my holidays. I don’t want to hear it. And if I do, for some reason, use “Happy Holidays!” — it’s likely that I’ve forgotten what holiday is fast approaching after endulging in too many cups of eggnog. And golly, I don’t even LIKE eggnog.


4 Responses to “The holidays, and what needs to be said”

  1. November 26, 2008 at 5:42 pm

    I don’t always agree with you, Three, but on this issue, you could not be more spot on. I think, in general, people get their panties all twisted about being politically correct far too much. Like a wise group of puppets once said, “Everyone’s a little bit racist.” Get over it, peeps.

    How ’bout if we all just stop being so damn offended at everything and just take the time to enjoy delicious food, sparkly decorations, and the company of the people we love? Sheesh.

  2. November 27, 2008 at 6:19 am

    Cheers, Three.

    What we need to is find a PC reason to tell these losers something like:

    “I don’t recognize Arbor Day because of all the innocent children who have been killed by falling trees.”

  3. December 7, 2008 at 11:15 am

    Привет, я думала что это совсем не так происходит:)

    Мой блог: http://vyazanieskaterti.blog.ru/

  4. 4 Three
    December 7, 2008 at 1:33 pm

    Prienia, if my Google translation is correct (“Hi, I thought that this does not happen,”) … yes, it does happen, and often enough that it caused me to write about it.

    люди, которые оскорблены не понимаю общую концепцию 🙂

    (for my English readers: The people who are offended don’t understand the overall concept.)

    And hopefully, Google didn’t translate that as “Your mother milks ducks.”

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