The Wrap-up

So, Christmas is now officially over, and here’s the conclusions:

1) Poll results: According to my poll of those of you who could be bothered to put down your axes, 86% of you believe that Santa always wraps gifts. Hurray! The barbarian readership has spoken, and no heads were lopped off. I’m proud.

1a) Kudos: I got mega-points for my choice in wrapping paper — it was Rankin/Bass “Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer” characters. Who rocks? I do.

2) Random Santa: I like to play random Santa every year, in which I stumble across something and absolutely HAVE to get it for someone who normally would probably just get a Christmas card. This year, my lead-footed friend who lost her license (paperwork hadn’t gone through that she had paid her tickets) got a “The cops never think it’s as funny as you do” magnet, and another got a “Some like ’em furry” magnet, since she has a love of men’s beards. Both not only made the recipients nearly cry from laughter, but other people came up to me and said, “Wow, those are freakin’ great!”

2a) Random Santa’d: A person who is a friend of a friend (and we chat on Facebook) sent me cookies. That was freakin’ AWESOME, and completely unexpected — I had a huge grin on my face the day I got them. And my good friend Corey has a gift coming to me that is also unexpected — and she’s an awesome gift-picker. Last year, she got me a Viking nutcracker, which is so delightfully kitsch that I MUST proudly display it on the fireplace mantle, right next to my Labrador nutcracker. So, whatever she found, I know it’s gonna be good.

3) Nutcrackers: Why the hell do I have so many of these things? I think I have 2 fancy ones and 2 “practical” ones. Do I eat shelled walnuts? No.

4) Nuts: I told mom that I don’t really do candy, so she bought me about 5 tins of nuts. Of course, none of them need a nutcracker. I’m still baffled. I think Alzheimer’s is setting in early.

5) Beer: Earlier this year, mom asked me what kind of beer I liked. She wanted to get me something small, because I usually just ask for cash for Christmas (what can I say, my insurance is due on Dec. 26 — so cash is always good). So, I told her a 6-pack of St. Nikolaus Bock would be awesome. What did I get for Christmas? A CASE of St. Nikolaus Bock. “The distributor doesn’t sell 6-packs — and that stuff’s expensive!” Oh mom. If only you knew about this concept called “6-pack shops” … but I’m kinda happy you don’t.

6) Spreading random cheer: After Christmas dinner, I opted to go hang out with some friends down at Jack’s on the South Side. While there, I saw someone who I swore looked like Mindbling (from her video). Turns out, after a brief introduction from my buddy CurtO, it was. I wish I could have gotten a picutre of the expression on her face when I introduced myself — it was classic! “THE Three? HOLY SHIT!” I don’t know if I’m deserving of an article in front of my psuedoname (let alone an italicized one), but her energy and drunken happiness demanded it. It was awesome to talk to her in person. As we chatted, it became clear that there has only been like 1 to 1.5 degrees of separation between us since I’ve been back. Same friends, similar employment, similar haunts — it really is just flat-out odd that we didn’t bump into each other before this. Oh, and Cousin was there (you may remember her as playing the part of “Stumpy” in MB’s “Stumpy, the One-Legged Stripper” Christmas song), but she was so crushed that when she attempted to do a re-enactment of the hopping around on 1 leg, she had to balance on CurtO and MB. Funny stuff!

So, overall, no Christmas complaints. Well, except that I need to get out there and get some decorations and such for next year. I think I want to do it up right in the future. And the future is now (at low low prices!).