27
Dec
08

He may be a scumbag, but …

… I gotta admit, I’ve wanted to do the same thing. Multiple times. Except with a chainsaw and lots and lots of malice.

Man shot for making too much noise during movie in Philly.

I’d also like to shoot those who won’t take crying babies out of the theater (and why is your infant at “Valkyrie” anyway?), who refuse to turn off their cell phones (you’re there to escape reality for a little while, ya know?), and those who say the absolute most retarded things imaginable … like the time a teen girl made the comment during the scene in “Saving Private Ryan” where the interpreter is cowering in fear and the German has just killed his comrades: “If he didn’t want to be there, then why did he go in the first place? Shah.” I’m sorry, but the “She had it comin'” defense should be perfectly allowable in that case.

Of course, the funniest part is that this reportedly happened  at “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button” … because the alleged shooter so looks like he should be seeing “XXX” or “Fast and Furious 2” for the 100th time, instead.

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7 Responses to “He may be a scumbag, but …”


  1. 1 blabsofsteele
    December 28, 2008 at 5:39 am

    ‘Why is your infant at “Valkyrie” anyway?’

    I believe this is a profound philosophical question. Possibly because I drank some Guinness earlier. Regardless, the follow-up questions should be:

    And why am I watching Valkyrie? Do I hate myself that much? Isn’t there more to life than watching Tom Cruise live out a vain revenge fantasy? If I died right now, and God asked me to explain why I was watching this movie, what could I say? Wouldn’t the time I spent watching “Valkyrie” have been better spent on other activities, such as kicking handicapped children or mocking the less fortunate?

  2. 2 Three
    December 28, 2008 at 10:35 am

    Good thing it was only a hypothetical question! (And it’s not actually a “revenge fantasy” — a group of Germans did try to assassinate Hitler in 1944 with a bomb in a briefcase.)

  3. 3 blabsofsteele
    December 29, 2008 at 10:06 am

    I know the movie is based on historical events. It is my belief that Tom Cruise harbors the fantasy that he would be the ideal Hitler assassin. It’s Scientologeriffic!

  4. December 29, 2008 at 10:10 am

    Why are you bringing your kid into a movie theater to see WALL-E?

    My parents never took me to a movie theater, all I ever got were drive-in movies and if I screamed like an idiot there it was easy for my dad to belt the piss out of me in the privacy of the station wagon.

    Until 4 or 5 kids can watch their movies at home. They don’t need to see the movie the day, week or month it comes out. THEY CAN WAIT. They have no concept of this “MUST SEE IT OPENING DAY” brainwashing most adults seem to have.

    Then let them watch at home where they can scream, fart and turd all they want.

  5. 5 blabsofsteele
    December 29, 2008 at 11:41 am

    I think you just justified my plan to get a 52″ LCD. Thank you.


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