They're even better when you're dead

An interesting story came across the wire tonight — one that involved a guy who died after playing World of Warcraft.

Now, I’m a geek and play the game. I’ve played on and off since it was released and Star Wars Galaxies went down the shitter (which is a shame, cause I enjoyed that game). But Warcraft has been fun — I’ve chatted with a lot of interesting folks. But none have actually died … that I know of.

Well, apparently in this story, his daughter (he was 57, she’s probably in her 20s or 30s) decided she wanted to tell the rest of his guild (basically, his “group” that he ran around and did stuff with) that he had passed on. One guy who knew the player mentioned that he had been arguing with other players recently, so he figured that the guy was taking time off to cool down — but was stunned to hear that the guy actually died. So, this was apparently nice to know that he wasn’t actually holding a grudge against them — he was just dead.

Now, apparently this kind of thing is becoming a bigger and bigger problem as Internet social circles expand. There’s a guy who operates a site called “Deathswitch” that, in the event of your untimely demise, will shoot out mail to folks so they can close out your Internet dealings.

At first, this seemed pretty morbid. But then again, the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. I mean, if I’m dead, why bother to close out my Facebook account when I can just shoot a mail to a suitably sick friend with my account info and have him/her keep updating the status? Sure, my world wouldn’t be changing much, but I could still bring smiles to my friends’ faces by having status reports like:

“[Three] is still dead.”

“[Three] is decomposing.”

“[Three] can’t believe limbo is so damn boring. Gahhhh.”

“[Three] is wondering where all the topless angels hang out at.”

“[Three] may not have a big stiffy, but he is one.”

“[Three] is missing his organs.”

I mean, seriously, this could be some fun, sick stuff! And maybe if you’re good enough at it (and you have friends that are dropping left and right), you could become a necromancer of sorts, commanding an undead legion of socially active zombies! Think of the power!

OK, there really would be no power. But still, that could be a creepy-ass fun way to keep you alive in your friends’ memories for years to come.

(Yeah, this is what happens when I have entirely too much time on my hands at the end of my shift …. OH, and you get 10 points if you know where the title of this blog comes from.)


1 Response to “They're even better when you're dead”

  1. March 18, 2009 at 3:53 pm

    About 13 years ago my friend Eddie and I thought about it – but we also thought about how horrible it would be if you somehow didn’t keep up with your dead-letter-mailing account and it started emailing everyone to let them know that you checked out…

    Then we went drinking and forgot about it.

    I do like the idea of a site that a loved on can trigger than will randomly or otherwise send out funny and/or harassing email messages to people after you have died.

    “Jimmy, I always wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed fucking your sister back in 1990. If you weren’t related I would highly suggest you try some oral because – just wow – I’m sure Stephen Hawking has a theory about her ability to suck.”

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