The meeting

I had every reason to fear Easter this year.

Cali was coming over for Easter dinner to meet the fam for the first time.

Mom had already flashed signs that she would do something incredibly embarassing. For example, in one of the pre-Easter interrogations,  I mentioned that Cali has Mexican ancestry. Mom’s first question? “Is she dark?”  Upon clutching my brow to that question, mom said something like:

“Part Mexican? How does that happen?”
“She’s from LA, mom.”
“You said she was from California.”
“Cause there are no Mexicans elsewhere in California?”
“Well, I don’t know!”

Yeah, I think I had reason to be a little afraid.

So the fateful day came, and  Cali came over. This was her first time at my house, and she was a bit disappointed that I didn’t actually live in a forest. (I kept telling her I didn’t, but she didn’t believe me.)  We then drove out to mom’s. On the way out, I showed her the sights that marked my childhood — the house we lived in when we first moved up from Florida, the pool we used to frequent in our youth, the various towns and places where relatives lived. Since she’s rarely crossed a bridge, this was a side of Western PA she hasn’t seen, so she kinda soaked it all in.

But as soon as we got there, we went to pet the dogs. Right then, my sister and her family showed up, and things went from 0 to 60 in 1.2 seconds.

And what followed was actually … pleasant.

Like my and Cali’s first date, I was expecting some bomb to drop. I figured mom would just blurt out “Mexican” at random intervals, or one of the younger nephews would do something that would result in migraine-inducing wailing.

But nope, nothing happened.

The fam dug Cali. Her reaction to the fam was “They’re normal. So where did YOU come from?”

She didn’t even flinch when my sister and I began talking about our childhood (I didn’t think Cali really believed me that my dad had a pig that he had slaughtered and fed to us until my sister and I tried to remember his name — Harry the Hog).

Nope. Everything went well. She enjoyed the patches. (Which I’ll post pictures of and the recipe for soon, for all you foodies.) We went for a short walk in Roaring Run afterward, since it was so nice out.

And, as you would expect, mom called me the next day to inform me that she “approved” of Cali, and that she was welcome over any time.

Of course, we all know what this will lead to next:

“So, when are you two going to get married?”


7 Responses to “The meeting”

  1. 1 Jenny Johnston
    April 15, 2009 at 3:20 am

    Sweet story, Dino! Cali is The Bomb. Goddamn, that dungeon Bunny picture will scare me until the end of time. FUCK the Easter Bunny.

  2. April 15, 2009 at 11:39 am

    When you mom asks you when you are getting married… look a little shy about it and tell her, “Well, we ahh, we kinda already got married. See mom, I told you she was Mexican remember? Well they were going to deport her and, I, well… we got married last week.”

    If you can’t fuck with your mom, who can you fuck with?

  3. 3 Ian
    April 16, 2009 at 8:25 am

    So we can only assume that you will bring Cali to a tailgate with the rest of your crew next……

    (And you thought going to see the family was rough! HAHAHAHAHHAHHHAHAHHHA….)

  4. April 16, 2009 at 12:51 pm

    I’m going to have nightmares, thanks to that photo. *shudder*

  5. April 20, 2009 at 7:00 pm

    seriously dude? fayette county? thats where i’m from originally. what was the event? did they combine a meat shoot and easter bunny pictures?

    post the recipes over on one of our food posts. we like us some food talk.

  6. 6 Three
    April 21, 2009 at 8:25 am

    Yes, I read a lot about the Fayette County region, because it’s so entertaining. This was from an Easter event out that-a-way at some fire hall in 2008. I had to save the picture because my first reaction to it was, “Jesus! It’s like a scene from SAW!”

    I still have to get that recipe from mom.

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