30
Apr
09

Porn wording

I like porn. But not in the same sense that most people do.

See, for me, porn is sheer entertainment … and I don’t even watch the videos.

At first, my searches were for some of the more bizarre stuff — because it used to crack me up what people would do for money. And then there are the artists out there that made cartoon porn from popular cartoon characters. But now, now I’ve stumbled across a whole new medium — the foreign pornographer.

What makes the FP special is the fact that his english is good enough to be understood, but it isn’t fine-tuned. Throw in the fact that he’s trying to describe some kind of outlandish fantasies, and you have a recipe for hilarity.

Here’s some of my favorites:

mummy wait for you in shower

mummy wait for you in bath!

  1. Scared mom runaway from her husband alcoholic: I like this one, just cause it’s not even a sentence.
  2. Now I know why mummy waited for me in front of bath: Now, when I think of a mummy, I think of the classic monster. So, this particular description evokes the image of porn music, the young man walking into the steamy bathroom, and then a mummy slowly turning and saying “AAAAAaaaarh!” Wet mummy … now there’s a smell!
  3. My wife and I hired a new maid. Sounds more like something you’d see on Twitter than a porn description, but hey, whatev.
  4. Japanese business woman entered wrong bus: And then she was late for her meeting!
  5. Drunk aunt forced young dude on some crazy things. I immediately got visions of Vlad the Impaler. And the young dude was forced on to some crazy things, like star fish and nerf footballs.

    bow chicka bow wow

    bow chicka bow wow

  6. I never sow grow man cock in my life, mister! Well, that’s cause the seeds are in it, sister! And I’m sure she’s grown plenty of female cock — aka hens.
  7. Gipsy woman rents her sons to local village virgins. Men being paid for sex. Ha! And I like the term “rent” instead of  “prostitutes” or “pimps.” LOL, get busted with a hooker, and use that in your defense — “I was just renting out her vagina. It was a short term lease.”
  8. I was drunk resting … when his mom came in! “Drunk resting.” Isn’t this the same as “passed out”? And if your friend’s mom finds you passed out, that’s just embarassing.
  9. Drunk mummy tried to escape, but I was stronger. This one has so many possibilities. Mummies aren’t known for their coordination, so a drunken mummy must walk slowly into door frames and such. Of course, I don’t know why mummies are drinking booze in the first place — no internal organs to process it.
  10. Hurry up daddy, your son will be home any minute. Uh, doesn’t that make him your brother? EWWWWWW.
  11. You should always close bathroom door. That’s pretty sound advice, porn or not.
  12. Doctor are you sure this is what you should be doing? Most people who use HMOs are thinking the exact same thing.

    Everyone likes a little ass

    Everyone likes a little ass

  13. GF mom find drunk dude like ass infront of door. So, the dude is being a drunken ass? Is drunk like a donkey? Likes donkeys? I’m just completely confused here.
  14. Feeling the taste of sleeping aunts pussy. I just don’t even know where to begin with this one. It’s just wrong on about 15 different levels. First we have the incorrect sensory combination, and do I really want to know what he’s doing to the sleeping aunt’s cat?
  15. I fucked my wife’s cousin while unconscious. You sir, are a marvel. I’ve had sex while I was blacked out before, but never while unconscious.
Advertisements

0 Responses to “Porn wording”



  1. Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


Follow me, Twittering fools!

Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.

Archives

Blog Stats

  • 28,099 hits

%d bloggers like this: