30
Jun
09

Summer of the Freak

Dont judge me ... you dont know me!

Summer says "Don't judge me! You don't know me!"

I’ve been meaning to post this blog for the past few weeks as a warning, but by now, I think it’s painfully obvious: The summer of 2009 has officially become the Summer of the Freak.

So far this summer, here’s what I’ve noticed:

  • Everyone and their brother/sister is breaking up — and it’s usually not for a very good reason.  I think I know of at least 6 couples that broke up within the past 3 weeks. A shame, really.
  • The Freaks are just OUT THERE, man. For example, Cali and I were at a picnic when I noticed an obvious freak started hanging around her. I think he threw out a pick up line of “I’d like to teach you radioactive safety.” I nearly pissed myself laughing when she told me.  Of course, I can’t laugh too hard … I caught a blue-haired chick eyeing me up while I was shopping at Lowe’s — but at least she didn’t offer me safety tips.
  • I caught the Jehovah’s Witness lady who keeps putting literature on my car — and didn’t ream her for it. She was quite nice, actually. Though I may just burn her literature in front of her to drive the point home that that’s all it’s good for.
  • The celeb death thing … just way out of control.
  • Apparently, one of the security guards at my workplace was caught drunk and stuffing office supplies into his clothes. You know, if you’re gonna go out in a blaze of glory, there’s better ways than stuffing pens into your pockets.
  • The majority of my hostas … which I planted in spring … aren’t growing. However, my callas are going like gang-busters. The hostas are supposed to be the hearty plants, and the callas are more touchy. Freaky!
  • On the roads, the Freaks are the ones driving 35 mph on one-lane roads, and you simply can’t pass them. And they’re all going in the same direction as me.
  • Mr. Sounds. There will be an entirely separate blog about him, but yeah, Freaktastic.
  • I’ve actually put my money where my mouth is … and will start volunteering at the WPA Humane Society. Freaky. Or at least it will be when the shelter actually contacts me. This will be the first time I’ve actually volunteered for a group since … oh … I dunno … 1992?

So, yeah, be sure to put on your helmet and just duck and cover. We still got a ways to go, and things are bound to get freakier.

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4 Responses to “Summer of the Freak”


  1. 1 Sly Reference
    June 30, 2009 at 8:31 am

    I dunno. If those people were dating their brothers or sisters, they should have known the relationships wouldn’t last. Just creepy.

  2. 2 Ian
    June 30, 2009 at 1:42 pm

    The deer love the hosta shoots when the first come up. If you need any hosta, or yucca, let me know. Chriss and I have a ton…..


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