30
Aug
09

She, me and they

A lot of stuff has been happening in my little world, so instead of blogging on basically 3 separate incidents that are all interconnected, it’s gonna be one entry.

So, here’s some funny things that I’ve recently been a part of:

  1. OMG, what will I do!?

    OMG, what will I do!?

    Cali is gone: Well, not gone, as is in we parted ways — but gone, as in she’s gone to Arizona for a month to work on a Navajo Reservation to knock some dinero from her student loans. It also gives her a chance to see her family and do some stuff on her side of the world. But what’s entirely too funny to me is all the people who have sent me private mails and such, offering me a shoulder, as such. OK, this may sound harsh — but it’s only a month, people.

    Obviously, I’ll miss her …  but I’m not going to be all “Oh boo hoo! What will I do now that she is gone for a whole month?” Of course, at the same time, I told these same folks to check back with me in May, when she graduates and moves back to LA for good. That will be more on the rough side, but I’m still unlikely to be a weepy chimp in public. Just not how I roll.

  2. The actual shot glasses

    The actual shot glasses

    We have met the jackholes, and they are us: So, Cali had a little “good-bye” fiesta. There was great Mexican food involved (Emilianos on the South Side … across the street from Excuses … check it out if you haven’t been there), karaoke at a different place (no, I didn’t sing), and a lot of drinking. And by a lot of drinking, I mean  PPJ and I were chatting with folks and downing beers and shots. PPJ also stands for “Philly Personality Jen” — which is what happens when she drinks.

    So, a bachelorette party meanders into the bar and sits next to the DJ, poring over the book to see what songs they wanted to sing. And no, there was no SQUEEEEEing involved. They were calm, polite … and I’m assuming, not drunk.

    Image altered to protect the jackholes

    Image altered to protect the identities of the jackholes, especially the one throwing up gang signs.

    PPJ was mysteriously antagonized by the group, which, in turn, brought on all kinds of  jackholish behavior directed at them. I won’t get into details, but basically, it consisted of a lot of bird flipping, PPJ saying naughty things into the microphone and other shenanigans that I thought for sure would lead to a fight. And it was all on us. No doubt in my mind. However, even now that we’re sober, PPJ still insists that somehow, they had it coming. I kinda almost feel guilty, and I didn’t even flip them off or do anything to them. I think this is the  one time in the history of mankind that a bachelorette party got mocked and did absolutely nothing to deserve it.

  3. Friend v. Pimp. Now, here’s the other thing about PPJ … she’s a really cute girl, and guys are always interested in her. However, what I don’t get is why they come up to me to get info … like her
    Yo, ding dong, man, ding dong. Ding dong, yo.

    Yo, ding dong, man, ding dong. Ding dong, yo.

    number, for instance. (I don’t pass that shit out, sorry. That’s a breach of confidentiality rules.) I can understand the “Is she dating anyone?” question, because a guy could generally not want to tread on anyone’s toes. But somehow, it always falls into “You have to put in a good word for me.” Actually, I don’t. Whether she dates a guy or not is all about his behavior … I have nothing to do with it. And how does it look when a guy doesn’t have the confidence to stand on his own, and can’t take the hit should he be rejected?

    The only time I interfere in PPJ’s life is if I know that the guy is already dating someone, the guy is flat out lying to her, keeps sheep skulls in his fridge or does something that sets off my “danger” alarm. Otherwise, I make it a point NOT to be involved in her personal life. It’s not my business unless she shares it with me. I’m her friend, not her pimp, thanks.

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3 Responses to “She, me and they”


  1. 1 Jenny Johnston
    August 30, 2009 at 2:09 pm

    Those bitches had it coming. End of story. Especially the unappreciative bride. But yeah, I was the antagonizer. Bitches ain’t shit, P*I*M*P*

  2. 2 Alison
    August 31, 2009 at 10:35 am

    I love this and I LOVE PPJ.

    I was not there, but I too, agree, they had it coming!


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