01
Sep
09

Love hurts

Mom sent me an e-mail today, updating me on my sister’s life. Now, my sister and I rarely talk — everything is always done via my mom. I don’t know why this is, as my sister and I get along just fine … but I think we just have vastly different lives so we just leave the other person to it.

So, mom sends me an e-mail, as apparently my sister injured herself pretty badly. And all you with children should pay attention to this next part, as it’s every parent’s nightmare: Apparently, she stepped on one of her kid’s toys, fell, and broke her foot.

Watch out for that AHHHHHHHH!

Watch out for that AHHHHHHHH!

Now, I’m almost envisioning a “roller skate near the steps” type of thing here … except I know she wouldn’t have that going on. Tomorrow, I shall pester her and get the scoop on how this all happened.

But then the real kicker happens. Her husband decides to carry her out to the car so they can go to the hospital. He’s a big guy, my sister isn’t exactly large (she stands at a mighty 5’2″ and is fairly thin), so it stands to reason that he should be able to carry her without too much of a hassle — and he doesn’t want her to aggravate that foot by trying to hobble on it.

Except that on the way to the car, he falls, and drops her. Now her elbow is torn up and she has a broken foot. He gets up, his ankle is swollen and his knee is torn up. Marvelous, right?

You know youre in trouble now ...

You know you're in trouble now ...

I mean, I have to give him credit … it was a very chivalric move, and one that you can see played out in every third movie out there. But you know, the gods had to have it in for him when he falls and drops his injured wife. I mean, at this point, you can almost hear the Benny Hill music playing in the background as it happened. Personally, I was expecting one of his cousins to mysteriously show up as it happened and slap him on the head repeatedly afterward.

They go to the hospital, she gets a boot on her foot, and she has a hard time with the crutches because of the fall and the shot to her elbow. They go home and think that basically, their day can’t get any worse.

Except, her husband’s ankle is really bugging him. Off to the hospital again … and, as you would expect … busted ankle. Seriously, I can’t make this shit up.

So, because her young boys failed to pick up their toys, both parents have broken bones and matching boots. This will be especially rough for him, since he’s working AND going to nursing school.

Make an offer, please!

Make an offer, please!

Now I’m wondering what the new mandate is around the house as far as leaving toys out. Knowing my brother-in-law, I’m betting it’s “If you leave the toys out, they’re being thrown out. Period.”

I’m also wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a sign out in their yard: “Boys for sale. Cheap. Make offer.”

(And as a side note, I can’t wait to tell my dad about this. Any abuse that I give her about it will only be compounded by leaps and bounds. It will be pure magic.)

If there’s a plus side to all of this, it’s made my Christmas shopping that much easier: One giant tub of calcium supplements. They can split it. I just hope they don’t trip over each other getting to it.

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