The binge

Yesterday I was feeling rather logey (pronounced “low-gie”), so I decided to start watching a ton of “Ghost Hunter” episodes. My buddy from Blabs of Steele came over and networked my computer and my PS3, and ever since I’ve been watching all kinds of crap that I have on my computer. Now, I love paranormal stuff, and since it’s the beginning of October, I figured “Why not?” Figured it would be a great way to get in the Halloween spirit … so to speak.

Now, I’m one of those people who came into the series late. Previously, I only was able to catch shows on On Demand, and they were pretty sporadic, so I had no idea that there was so much staff drama going on on that show. For me, it was like Scooby Doo when they hit the celebrity guest stars stage … I would turn it on, see the core staff and a bunch of revolving new faces … though they never found out the haunting was caused by Old Man Smithers, and there was no secret treasure on the grounds.

So, with Halloween in mind, here’s a few observations:



  1. I loathe Brian. There, I said it. If you’re not a fan of the show, let me try and describe him to you: You know that coworker that is always on the phone yakking on and on about things with his girlfriend in a move to constantly reassure her that everything is OK? That’s him. He obviously has problems (as we find out later in Season 2), but man, he’s that guy who “just doesn’t get it.” When I was searching for his pic, I came across a blog that was kind of defending him, saying no employee should be treated like he was treated. Well, if you’re gonna say that, then no boss or no coworker should have to tell you to get off the phone when you’ve been on it for 3 hours and you’re on the clock. Oh, and he’s also one of the guys in the infamous “Dooood run!” clip, which is hilarious.

  2. Its a nightmare come true

    It's a nightmare come true

    The other guy I dislike? Andy. To be quite honest, in the first episode I saw him in, I thought he was a woman. He had longer hair and kind of a high-pitched voice for a man, and apparently was rather over-dramatic in that particular episode (“I feel a tightness in my chest.”) If TAPS’ goal is to walk into an investigation looking to debunk the haunting, Andy is the guy who is absolutely ready to believe everything and anything is a “bit of paranormal evidence.” It’s like he needs to be on “UFO Hunters,” where they try and mold the evidence into what they want it to be. After watching tons of these GH episodes, I pretty much assume that the pics I took at the Trans-Allegheny Insane Asylum were 99 percent dust — the only one that may be something else is that last one — but I’m not a “trained investigator” and have no idea of what’s what. But Andy sees a grasshopper jump in front of a camera and he’s like, “Dude! Evidence of paranormal activity!” He pains me in unimaginable ways. Thank the gods he is no longer with the show.

  3. The Demonologist. I see this term pop up on shows like “Ghost Hunters” and “Paranormal State,” and it gets me to to wondering … how does one become a “demonologist”? Is it like a night class at CCAC or something? Is it a degree or just a certification class? And just how many hours does it take to get one, because you know, I’d love to be able to put on my resume that I’m a “Certified Demonologist.”
  4. In my mind, one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen happened in the third episode of Season 2, when they were in New Orleans. Well, actually, they were out on a run down plantation where a scary little Torgo guy lived. And his complaint was about how a ghost living in his house would make his “lady friends” uncomfortable and leave the house. But I have an inkling that it had nothing to do with a ghost.  Meet Bruce at around the 8:20 mark.

    And at the beginning of the second one, you can just feel the sexual frustration rippling off of him. I have a hypothesis that every time he says “lady friend,” a hooker gets her pumps.

    Personally, I was waiting for him to eventually break down and say, “Damn, if I don’t get none soon, I’m gonna explode, you know what I mean?”
    I dunno. But here’s all I can say about this: When you’re dressed in camo and flannel, look kinda dirty, have taxidermy in your house and entirely too much pent up sexual energy, the vast majority of women are going to get the impression that you’re about to go all “Silence of the Lambs” on them. Just sayin’.
  5. I love when they ask questions to the ghosts, and the answers would have to be rather complex for the ghost to answer.
    Investigator: “How did you die?”
    Ghost (with a British accent): “Well, it’s rather long and humorous story involving a wheel of cheddar cheese, an elephant and a squad of mice trained by the communists. Now, I was just walking down the street and …”
    Investigator: “Do you see yourself in the time period in which you died?”
    Ghost: “Come now old boy, let me answer your first question before you ask me a second …”
    Investigator: “Do you know you’re dead?”
    Ghost: “Of course I do! But the question is, do you know your brain is?”
  6. There’s been a lot of scary women on Ghost Hunters, but also a lot of cuties. And let’s face it, they’re much more interesting to watch than TAPS setting up, wandering around in the dark, and then tearing down.

So I like my women a little more normal and nerdy. So what?

One of the the things I like about the show is the fact that they just don’t automatically assume every little unexplained thing is Satan about to unleash his unholy hordes upon the world, and that they don’t use psychics in their adventures. However, I do hate their tossing around of the words “scientific” and “theory,” because what they do has very little to do with science. It’s more that they use technology and apply more critical thinking to their investigations than psychic investigators do. (To use the word “science” like they do means I’m pretty sciency while writing this blog, because I’m using technology that measures word count.)

But really, entertaining show — and I hope that they continue to make many more episodes. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have more episodes to get caught up on.

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