Pete Moss

Sometimes, I take jokes a bit too far.

I’m not talking like I drove someone to suicide or anything, but I’m known to push a joke until it is dead, and then still try to make it work days later.

Take the Pete Moss joke that I’m going to club you like a baby seal with.

The other day, a friend was talking to me about doing some gardening with peat moss and Japanese beetle lure, and how she was going to end up a giant ball of sweat by the end of the day. This immediately made me think of a porn title, with me saying “‘[Insert name] Like it Hot and Dirty’, starring [name], Pete Moss and Beetle Lure.”

This produced lots of laughs, things were fun.

Then I broke out the meme generator. Some of you will remember this and the motivational poster generator as being 2 of my favorite apps for my phone. And you know what? They still are.

Out came the meme porn collection. All gardening/sex innuendo, all the time. Throughout the night, I giggled stupidly as I came up with more and more stuff and shot her texts with them in it. I thought we were finally done, but then I got a text that said, “I HAD PEAT MOSS IN MY EAR.”

I lost it. Well, lost it laughing, that is.

“The hazards of being in the porn business. (Pete Moss … hahahahhahaha)”

And so the legend of Pete Moss as a porn star was born.

Shortly after this exchange, she went to bed. But since I was still working, I knew this wasn’t the last of Pete Moss.

So this morning, the Pete Moss porn title memes burst out of my chest like an Alien out of a host body. And for no really good reason, I figured I’d share them:

Kind of a fail. This one didn’t get sent because I didn’t like it.

She said, “Pete Moss needs to be greasier and dirtier.”

I felt this one was greasier and dirtier enough. Got laughs, but not quite there.

I don’t even get this one, but it made me laugh stupidly.

The winner.

In hindsight, these are all likely far more funny to she and I than to anyone else. But who knows, maybe someone out there will dig it.


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