Posts Tagged ‘Big Butler Fair

04
Jul
12

fairiors: Big Butler Fair Vol. III

We had spent the day experiencing the Big Butler Fair in all of its glory … from seeing the animals to shopping the endless supply of Confederate flag draped goods. Some of the fairiors indulged in special treats like Deep Fried Oreos, Snickers and Reeses Peanut Butter Cups. (A word to the wise: Apparently, deep frying and nougat don’t really go together well.)

But let’s face it, the reason we came to the Big Butler Fair was for the main event: The School Bus Demolition Derby.

I don’t know why this particular event caused me to start this whole escapade. Maybe it was the hours of Autoduel I played as a kid. But this was something I just needed to check off the ole Bucket List.

The stands filled up fast. We were not alone in our desire to see this spectacle.

So, here’s some pics and video of the contenders and the contests.

There were more buses, but these were the only shots I got, and give you an idea of what was painted on them. When they announced the drivers, I noticed a trend … drivers from Sarver, Natrona Heights, Tarentum … the AK Valley was well represented. I felt a swelling of pride … or that was that carnival gyro not agreeing with me … but regardless, the event was ready to begin.

Now, there were 2 opening rounds, which had like 5-6 buses in each round. They pulled in a rectangular area with their back ends facing each other. Now, quite honestly, I was expecting them to circle the track and crash into each other … as did a couple people in the stands. But in hindsight, this way was much safer for the drivers.

Now this opening round wasn’t very exciting. What you probably can’t see is that the 2 buses in the foreground were in a heated battle … the one would have its breaks locked up and the other would push it.

But again, the 2 heats weren’t all that. The South Park bus was knocked out in the first round … it couldn’t go in reverse anymore. Sad.

Then the main event came. All of the remaining buses thrown in to one battle royal. Before you start watching, this is like a 10-minute affair … so grab your favorite deep-fried food, sit back and watch.

Technically, this reminds me of my high school parking lot when the buses tried to be the first one out of the lot.

Eventually, 2 buses stood … No Fat Chicks and the red Honey Badger.

When Honey Badger attempted to crush the No Fat Chicks into a Jersey barrier to break its radiator, the crowd booed. It was like watching a WWE match where the guys kept putting each other into headlocks. The crowd was here for bodyslams and flying dropkicks, not technical wrestling.

Eventually Honey Badger let up and they smashed into each other until the Honey Badger was the victor.

Things you may not see that did happen: At one point, a bus engine started smoking badly. The bus driver attempted to eject but couldn’t get his seatbelt unhooked. But he eventually got his bus moving and got it out of danger. Also, tires blew out, and

So, all and all, a good time, even though it wasn’t quite what I expected.

Next major fair on the list: July 28, Fayette County Fair.

Possible Minor fair visits: Fort Armstrong Rodeo, Apollo Moon Landing

03
Jul
12

Fairiors: Big Butler Fair, Vol. II

Now, the big draw to Sunday’s Big Butler Fair was the School Bus Demolition Derby. However, you’ll have to wait until tomorrow’s segment to see that. Today’s segment will on all the other entertainment that was available.

I’m a guy who likes to people watch. From Anthrocon to hanging out at the mall, people watching is always entertaining. And again, in this regard, the Big Butler Fair didn’t disappoint.

After pulling in to the parking area, I caught a glimpse of what I could expect: A young girl walking in with booty shorts and cowboy boots. Within minutes of entering the actual fair, I heard a parent say to her child (who was blowing through a straw to make an annoying noise), “Please stop that,” and then “IF YOU DON’T STOP THAT I’M GOING TO SHOVE IT UP YOUR BUTT.”

Oh yes, entertainment would be easy to find. And it was all around. In fact, walking out of the barns, we came upon this glorious site:

Mess with the bull, get the inflatable horns.

Now, upon seeing this wondrous piece of machinery, I had flashbacks to my dad’s ’78 Ford 150, which he had on jacked-up tires. he even had steps on it to help my sister and I crawl into the cab on those rare occasions where we didn’t ride in the bed. And it was the 70s — we asked him to ride in the bed, because bouncing around in truck bed while in heavy traffic was considered fun in those days. You parents now would be all horrified, and that’s why the commies are winning.

I briefly considered paying for a ride, but my memory was still good enough to know what being driven around in a giant truck is like, so I opted out. Maybe in a few more years.

Then there was the shopping.

If you ever wondered where cheap goods featuring gnomes, dragons, and Confederate flags come from, it’s from a fair of some sort. Even the t-shirts were so ungodly … I don’t even know how to describe it … hickish? … that some of the best had to be photographed and shared. So, again, there’s nothing I can add to these pictures.

Turtles and gnomes and Confederate flags, oh my!

The shirts:

    

A surprising number of you Twitter people thought I should have bought the first one. But 1) I hate grey shirts. 2) I find it very difficult to wear the Confederate flag, even in jest. But that’s a story for a different day. 3) Where in God’s name would I actually wear it? Well, I guess I could wear it to other fairs, but that would be about it.

Then there were the prizes you could win at the games, mon:

  

And what fair isn’t complete without the obligatory freakshows? From Sampson the Giant Horse to the some of the others, it is quite a site to behold.

Sheep beats cow!

Horse power!

Now, one of the fairiors did notice something about Sampson’s alleged size.

He questioned the size comparison chart on the left. Since Bigfoot the Mythical Creature has never been found and therefore never measured, how can that comparison be accurate? And clearly, if this horse was in this structure, then there is no way way it could be bigger than the Bigfoot Monster Truck, as the Wild Bull truck was bigger than this stall.

The only way to figure out this mystery was to go inside, but since there was no beer, none of us was willing to do it. Oh, the mysteries you left us with, Big Butler Fair!

But all of this was completely expected. I mean, this is the normal fair experience and fun … but there is always SOMETHING unique about every fair. Something so unexpected that when you see it, you take a deep breath and exhale a slow “Oh. My. God.”

And we found it in the Puppetone Rockers.

If I had to describe it, it would be like a Zamboni with dancing puppets and a lounge singer acting as one. I was fortunate enough to catch it on video. Please excuse my poor camera skills … I heard the music and walked toward the Puppetone Rockers like they were the Pied Pipers.

Tomorrow’s post? THE SCHOOL BUS DEMOLITION DERBY. With VIDEO.

PREPARE FOR GLORY!

02
Jul
12

Fairiors: Big Butler Fair, Vol 1.

For years, I’ve been wanting to check out the Big Butler Fair. I don’t know why, particularly … it could be any number of reasons: My love of people watching. My redneck heritage. Just wanting to do something different.

And on all 3 counts, the Big Butler Fair did not disappoint. In fact, it inspired a new category on the ole neglected blog: Fairiors. I created it because, well, I now feel compelled to visit every other county fair that I can. On the list: Fayette County on July 28th. Washington County on Aug. 17. Westmoreland County on Aug. 18th.  Yeah, gonna be an interesting summer … assuming you like county fairs.

I went with 4 other people — 2 folks from the immediate Butler area, and 2 others who were not. The locals tend to call it “The Big But Air” — and on a 90 degree day, I had a good guess as to why.

I cut the sleeves off an old Iron City Beer t-shirt, charged up the Droid X, threw some Lynyrd Skynyrd and Steve Miller Band on the iPod, grabbed my best ratty ballcap, and made my way to Butler.

There’s really just too much to talk about to fit into one blog entry, so this will be broken up into three segments. This one will be “The Animal Segment.”

Big Butler Fair: Udderly educational!

I was not raised on a farm. I was not in 4H Club. I cannot tell you the difference between horse, cow or chicken breeds. Hell, my idea of different chicken breeds was breaded, non-breaded, baked, rotisseried, and pressure cooked. So, yeah, this was a whole new experience.

Upon walking up to the first animal zone, fellow fairior Rachel admonished me on my shoe choice: a pair of Teevas. “Do you know how much cow shit and piss and puke you’ll probably step in by the end of the day?” I assured her that I had worked at a Ren Fair, and if that didn’t kill me, nothing coming from a farm animal could.

As if by design, upon walking into the first cow barn, a cow decided to take a pee. With urine flying out of its rear area, I decided to keep wide of the rear ends of any farm critter I encountered — it was a good decision, as I saw more animals poop and pee in one hour than I had in my entire life. There’s really not a lot to talk about, as a caption on most of these pictures is all you need to get the idea of what was happening.

The Cow Centipede — from @pantster

Miniature Horse is not amused

YES MY BROTHER! ESCAPE! EMBRACE FREEEEEEDOM!

NO! Stop living off the scraps you are given! Embrace … oh, fuck it. See you at Easter.

Speaking of Easter …

Easter decor. In July. Baffling.

Gandalf should have ridden a horse like this instead of that plain one.

Legolis can ride this one. It’s pretty.

More education! Good advice is good advice, yo.

I would proudly ride this chicken into battle. — @pantster

Different definitions, I guess.




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