Posts Tagged ‘quotes


Quote of the Day, Vol. 4

Me: There’s just some things that ought not be vegan.
Rob: Like people.


And you think you’ve had a bad day…

From a friend’s Facebook status….

Last 24 Hours (abridged): cocktail dress; 4-inch-heels; white russians; 3 am; slip and fall; waking up in a strange house; knee pain; ride home; hospital; x-ray; mcl; leg brace; crutches; orthapedics; percocet; vomitting…AND looks like my car was stolen. My life continues on its path of awesomeness.

And if you think she’s all QQing or looking for sympathy, after several people commented sending hugs and whatnot, she responded with this:

I’ll see the orthopedist this week and find out if it’s a strain or a tear and if I’ll need surgery. I’m especially excited about the crutches just in time for snow and ice in Pittsburgh. Could be worse, right? My house could be filled with bees. That would suck if I had this horrible pain and a house full of bees.

So, no matter how much things are sucking, things could always be worse … just add a house full of bees into the mix, and you’ll see, things may not be all that bad as is.


Texted wisdom

You know,  there really isn’t a lesson learned in Rudolph. Their opinion of him wouldn’t have changed if he hadn’t saved their asses.

— Message sent by my “twin to a different mother” Holly


Quote du jour, 2.0

Tech: I need you to put in your password.

Worker: The one that I currently use?


Quote du jour, Vol. 2

The setting: 2 neighborhood kids are out playing basketball in front of the Kid 1’s house in a suburban, white, middle-class neighborhood. They constantly jaw at each other, and then started arguing over something.

Kid 1: “Well, we don’t play that way. This is street ball, man, STREET BALL!”

*more playing*

*break in the play*

Kid 1: “My mom says if we do that again, we have to stop.”


Pitt Homecoming 2005 report

So Homecoming has come and gone, and I must say, having Corey around was a blast. So many great quotes, so much alcohol drunk that I don’t think I’ll be drinking for awhile. But my favorite quotes came during the dreary weather tailgate that we all just hung out at–who needs to sit in the Pitt game when we were dry and drunk?

But, here’s a series of quotes, kinda related, but not sequential, that made me nearly cry. The first one isn’t quite right, but I’ll fix it later.

Corey: I got an X on my hand.
Fred: I got a C. I wonder why?
Corey: Because I’m excellent, and you’re a cocksucker.


(Jeanann holding a small bottle of Jameson.)
Jeanann: “When this falls out of the pinata, I’m going to have to beat you off  for it.”
Me: Yeaaaaaaaah. (big smile)
Jeanann: (look of confusion) Noooooo! Beat you up for it!
Me: I like the first one better.


DrunkAnn (Jeanann when drunk): I got an X and C. What does that mean?
Corey: That means you’re an excellent cocksucker!
Me: Alright! First she can beat me off, and then later…
Amy: Yeah, that’s like an upgrade!


Juice: “We’re going to call Gareth and tell him that he’s gay.”
DrunkAnn: “But that’s mean!”
Me: “No it’s not. It’s tradition. He expects it”
DrunkAnn: “I can’t do it because he isn’t gay…(drunk thinking)…is he gay?”


All talk wasn’t dirty oriented–we did have a long conversation about billipium (I said it was on the periodic table next to “notbelievinum”), Fred’s trying to order the drink Hypnotix, which he tried to describe to the waitress as “You know, it smells like cat piss.” There was also Kendra’s smacking of Tom’s truck while swinging for the pinata, which was one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.

Ah yes, good times. We also found out that Cheri and Mrs. Juice were pregnant, which is always good news. We promptly made them start smoking and drinking…just kidding!

Can’t wait till next year! Woooooo!

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