Posts Tagged ‘teens


Teens, Obama and the spoken word

Before I start this blog entry out, let me state something for the record: I’m not an Obama fan. Nothing personal against the guy, but his policies don’t sit right with me. I mean, it’s nice not having a leader who looks like Alfred E. Neuman and is constantly tripping over his words — I just wish that that kind of poise could come from a smart, moderate Republican.

But don’t worry, I’m also not one of these “afraid of socialism” types who is crying all the time about this administration’s policies. I know we have plenty of socialist programs running rampant in this country already — however, I gotta admit, I’m not thrilled with the idea of adding more of them to our excessively flawed system.

However, the die-hard conservatives are making me laugh really, really hard as of late. I mean, no matter what Obama does, there is someone, somewhere, frothing at the mouth in fervent opposition to him, no matter how good the idea may be in the first place. And the attacking, the conviction, the pure frothy goodness of the ranting is almost magic. For example:



Obama: “I want to cure blind kids by letting puppies kiss them!”
Backlash: “Fuck you, Obama! How dare you force puppies to lick blind kids! First of all, you don’t know if these blind kids want to see what you’re doing to this country in the first damned place! But forcing the puppies to kiss them … this is just like when Hitler used dogs against their will to hunt down the Jews! Obama is Hitler! Obama hates puppies! Obama hates America! I want my America back!”

Throw down your torrents!

Log out of your IM! Quit playing Halo! Throw down your torrents, comrades!

So, this whole uproar about Obama’s education speech has really got me laughing.  These people seem to honestly think that Obama’s one, single, solitary speech to their children will be so powerful — so mind-altering persuasive — that it will permanently warp their kids into such little pinkos that they’ll throw out their iPods, Xboxes and cell phones because they can’t be tainted by capitalist temptations.

Really? Seriously?

Aren’t these basically the same kids that likely have heard of Obama, but don’t know why everyone is talking about him because they haven’t seen him sing on “American Idol” yet?

I mean, seriously, what could possibly interest teens more than their favorite shows, the high school drama of who is dating who, who broke up with who, who is sleeping with which teacher, what’s happening at band camp and trying to catch the eye of their crush-of-the-week? I mean, think back to when we were kids: what would happen during every assembly when someone came to talk to us about something? Did we pay attention? Oh, fuck no. I have notebook upon notebook filled with doodles to prove that I wasn’t paying attention — and you know, the longer the talking went, the more elaborate the drawing was likely to be.

You best not take away my hair-care products....

Do you have any idea of how long it took me to get my hair this way?

And kids today have so many more distractions than just their imaginations. Do you really think they’re gonna cast it all aside just because Obama addresses them? “My God! HDTV is the shackle of the capitalist! I’m a slave to material goods! I must turn my high definition TV into a plow and start tilling the land to help my brothers and sisters survive the riggers of the upcoming winter! We will all share our bounty, and we will all benefit from our hard labor! Nay, for the first time in recorded history, truly no one will be left behind! Oh glorious day!” Wait, aren’t these the same kids who can’t seem to be able to put their glass in the sink after downing some Coke unless they’re cracked out on Ritalin, and who spent a lot of time styling their hair to look like a character from Dragonball Z?

Abstinence works! Thanks mom!

Abstinence works! Thanks mom!

Besides, we can all see the effectiveness of  politicians when they talk to children. Take Sarah Palin’s daughter, Bristol, who obviously took Sarah’s lectures on abstinence and no pre-marital sex to heart. Or maybe we can even include Dick Cheney’s daughter Mary, who obviously knew how important it was to be heterosexual. (Cause hey, that whole gay thing is a lifestyle choice, right?)

There’s a lot of things to hammer Obama on … the projected $9 trillion deficit. Huge bailouts to companies while the unemployment rate nears 10 percent. The whole health care thing. Letting that “Truther” into his administration (word to Obama: Dude, seriously, that’s repulsive).

But crowing on and on ad nauseum about how insidious his “speech to the kids” will be is stupid. He has no more of a chance of “brainwashing” America’s youth as I have of appearing on the cover of “Tiger Beat.”

Or let me phrase this another way: If the right-wing is gonna scream about everything he does, then pretty soon, the public will stop listening to anything they have to say.

And you know, that may not be a bad thing after all.


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