Posts Tagged ‘Thanksgiving


Untraditional Thanksgiving

Today on Twitter, I saw a lot of people talking about what they are thankful for: Their jobs, their families … pretty much all the stuff that you would expect.

There is no way I could say anything any differently than any of them did, so, I opted to draw my first hand turkey since 1st or 2nd grade. Enjoy.


And yes, I did do a motivational poster on it, since I’m completely addicted to that app.


So, for my American readers, I hope you and your family have a great, and only vaguely insane family gathering. I hope you put on your eatin’ pants, and end up getting completely stuffed on great food. I hope you enjoy napping on the couch while listening to John Madden talk about turduckens.

For my readers in different countries: I wish you could be here to join us.

Happy Thanksgiving!


Indian giver

Well, Thanksgiving is over and my life is starting to get back to normal — normal being used in the basic sense of the word.

I think I’m finally done dealing with the holiday.

I wished for all the damn turkey, suckas.

Let me rewind a minute here — for those of you who don’t know, my family is delightfully insane. We don’t have “OMG severe drama”  (like Timmy is high on meth, causing mom to faint, while drunken dad hits on my girlfriend, etc.), but we do have lots of little stuff that leads me to cracking open another beer instead of getting involved in it. For example, when nephew No. 3 had just learned to “potty like a big boy,” he was more than happy to show us … in the dining room, while we were eating our Thanksgiving meal. Or in the middle of the living room while we were sitting around talking. Or about every 3 minutes just to show us that he could. For my sib’s family, meh, it was par for the course and one less diaper to change, so no big deal. So, instead of voicing my discontent, I settled on having another beer while I internally churned.

This year’s drama involved the meal itself. Mom called a few weeks before the day and asked how I felt about turkey for Thanksgiving. My only reaction was, “What the heck are you talking about?”

“Well, I was talking to your sister,  and she was saying how they weren’t too keen on having turkey, since they’ll be having it a lot. But she said to leave it up to you.”

I summed it up in 3 words. “I want turkey.”

Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful for any kind of free, delicious home-cooked meal. But after not having turkey one year, I found out that I’m a traditionalist. I want turkey and all the fixings. Pass the stuffing, please.

So we eat. Everything goes fine. No nephews were using the potty during dinner. I only drink one Dogfish Punkin. We’re grooving.

Then we start dividing up the leftovers. My sister insists on giving me first shot, but I tell her no, take what you want, and I’ll take the rest. The argument tennisballs back and forth, back and forth. Finally, she basically opts to take some of the sides and gives me all of the turkey, since they’ll be sure to have leftovers from the meal with her husband’s family. Her husband is like, “We have 3 turkeys in the freezer right now, we don’t need any more turkey.” Fine, whatev.

The day after, I get a call from my mom.

Mom: “Did you like the turkey?”
“Yes, it was really good.”
“You didn’t really just throw it out, did you?”
“God no. If I didn’t like it, I wouldn’t have taken it.”
“OK, well, I just got a call from your sister.”
“Yeah, she was asking me if I had any leftover turkey. ”
Me: “What?”
Mom: Well, apparently they really didn’t have any leftover turkey from their meal last night.”
Me: *laughing hysterically*
Mom: “So she wanted to get turkey from me, but I gave it all to you. I told her to call you, but she said she wouldn’t. But I guess she has mashed potatoes, stuffing and all the fixings, but no turkey…”

Maybe next time she’ll listen to her little brother.

(And for the record, she hasn’t called. So I made, and ate, a turkey pot pie, and will probably make another one in the near future. Mmmm. Turkey and fixins…)


How was your turkey day?

Man, right now I feel like I need a vacation from my Thanksgiving.

It’s not that there was anything wrong with it. In fact, now that I have a quiet moment to think, it was pretty darned good. Here’s a brief rundown on what I did:

1) Played Fallout 3 as much as I could. I’m completely hooked by this game right now. Great graphics, HDTV magic. If you’re a video game nerd, this one is great. Took me a little bit to get used to it, but now that I am, rock on. And I also stumbled across a young blogger to help me figure out some quests — Outer Heaven — you can tell she really enjoys playing and helping folks out. (And hey, thumbs up for female gamers — they rock.) Oh, I’ve had the “Wonderful Guy” song that plays on Galaxy News Radio stuck in my head for a few days now, and I don’t mind it. Maybe I’m playing a bit TOO much…

2) Pre-Thanksgiving Pub Crawl: A bunch of folks from went to Pittsburgh’s Lawrenceville neighborhood for a mini-pub crawl. And this is where I realized one of my great loves of this town — the neighborhood bars. I’ll probably expound on this in a post on OMGPittsburgh, but suffice to say independently owned mom and pop bars are something that I love, and this section of town has a billion of them. I had a good friend roll into town and join us late, and it was fantastic to see him since I only get to see him once in a blue moon. We drank our faces off, laughed heartily and had a great time. And lastly, a different friend helped me realize a couple of things — this probably won’t be expounded upon, but I’m pretty happy because of it.

3) Relatively drama-free dinner: In the past, my nephews manage to work my nerves on the holidays. Last year, Nephew No. 3 had just been toliet trained, and was excited to show everyone how he was a big boy now — you know, by whipping it out IN THE DINING ROOM DURING DINNER EVERY 5 MINUTES and using his little portapotty. This year, he was much better, and Nephew No. 4 was pretty hilarious.

4) Pitt vs. WVU: I had the chance to go see this game. My friends have club seats, so I bought an extra ticket from one of them. This was a really interesting game for me — not so much because of what was going on on the field, but rather because I was DEAD SOBER during the game. Why? Cause I had to work after it. But watching the rival fans go at it was a hoot and a half. I’m sure this will be expounded upon later, because it was great people watching.

5) Ultimate Frisbee: I went and played Ultimate Frisbee with the meetin folks on Saturday — something I haven’t done for awhile because I jacked up my left ankle and right calf in spring and it still hurts to do any running. But I was able to get out and play a little bit — the ankle hurts, but not horridly. A different old buddy was in town (haven’t seen him in like 15 years), and he showed up to play with us — it was awesome. We did some lunch afterward. Good times.

6) Tech support: I finally delivered mom’s new computer (but not without much gnashing of teeth), and she’s excited to get it. But now her calls are coming in, and they are questions I can’t answer. She has a Verizon e-mail account, and she’s asking me how to send mail.

Me: Mom, there should be a send button somewhere at the bottom of the area that you type.
Mom: I don’t see it.
Me: Did you scroll down?
Mom: Yes, but it pops up a menu.
Me: (Realized she’s hitting the startup button at the bottom of the screen, clutched my head in disgust)
Mom: Did I just forget how to use this? I can’t find anything.
Me: Mom, it has to be there somewhere. I just can’t help you because I don’t have the program in front of me.
Mom: But I keep doing this…
Me: Mom, I can’t help you until I get out there to see it.
Mom: But it should be there
Me: Mom, I need to see it. I’ll come out Sunday.

(Hindsight is 20/20 moment: I really should have networked that computer to mine ….)

7) Getting sick: Yeah, you know, I’m getting sick. But after a great run over Thanksgiving and a fridge full of turkey goodness leftovers, I’m really not going to complain. Hell, now that I think about it, after all of that and not having an extra day off, I need the rest.

More regular blogging should be resuming shortly.


The holidays, and what needs to be said

So the holidays are rapidly approaching, and like everyone else, I’m sure you’re busy with Thanksgiving plans, followed by the inevitable, “Wait, there’s how many days until Christmas?! Crap!” feeling. The rush for the holidays is something that’s always interesting — because some people go into a manic frenzy in an attempt to have the “perfect” holidays. Then there are the others who kick back, relax and smile throughout them, and get the idea of what’s behind them and understand that it’s a time of celebration and being thankful. And yet there are others that use them to express their political correctness.

Out of all of them, group 3 pisses me off the most.

Now, I know you know these chuckleheads. These are the people who say, “Happy Holidays!” instead of “Merry Christmas!” because they don’t want to “offend” anyone who isn’t Christian. They are also the folks who get quoted in the media as saying “We don’t celebrate Thanksgiving because of the pilgrims. We like to think of the contributions of the Native Americans.”

If you are one of these people, here’s my 3-word reply: Get. Over. It.

First of all, I’m not now, or ever, saying “Happy Holidays” or any variation of it because I am concerned that you will be offended, just like I’m not offended if you wish me a “Happy Hanukah” or “Happy Kwannza” or any other similar saying. Why? Because I know you’re wishing me peace, joy and happiness. Heck, I may even use it as an opportunity to learn more about your beliefs by asking a little bit about it or looking it up. How hard is it to get the intent of a holiday greeting? I mean, it’s pretty obvious that saying “Merry Christmas” doesn’t mean “I wish a pox upon you and your family, you freakin’ heathen.” So, if you get a “Merry Christmas” from me, accept the “blessing” (as such) for what it is — and realize that if I was trying to insult you, I’d say something like, “Hey assclown, nice hat. HA HA HA.”

The Thankgiving bashers, on the other hand, seem to be a relatively new group that I’ve been hearing about. Being a distinctly American holiday, these folks seem to have found politically correctness as a way to bash their good fortune for being an American. Typically they are white, educated, left-wing and guilty. They quote what happened to the Native Americans after turkey day (over hundreds of years) as a justification for not joining in the celebration now. And here’s my advice for these folks: Shut. The. Fuck. Up.

Seriously, if being an American is so bad, please trade your spot to someone else. There are thousands of African refuges wouldn’t mind your home, wouldn’t mind trying some turkey and stuffing, wouldn’t mind laying down on the couch afterward, watching football and dozing off after such a feast. Yes, I understand the history of the Native Americans, and how they were treated by white settlers and (later on) by the U.S. government. I’m not saying to be proud of that. I’m saying rejoice in that one singular day when two groups came together, broke bread and celebrated their good fortune of having a roof over their heads, enough food to share, and good neighbors to share it with. THAT is what Thanksgiving is all about.

So stop PCing up my holidays. I don’t want to hear it. And if I do, for some reason, use “Happy Holidays!” — it’s likely that I’ve forgotten what holiday is fast approaching after endulging in too many cups of eggnog. And golly, I don’t even LIKE eggnog.

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